February 05, 2013

Accutane | Week 15

I am not one to enjoy pity parties.
Perhaps you might feel that this has nothing to do with acne but, I think this might be beneficial for the young ones in college/university... And frankly I didn't want to make a separate post.

As I have mentioned before I am a graduate of a Civil Engineering Tech program. In the begin of my college career I was excited and even enthusiastic about school and the people getting to meet. As time progressed I started to feel really bitter about my choice to go into Civil Engineering and I started to feel very sad. In my second year I failed a class that was a pre-requisite for the following year. I wont sit here and say that it wasn't my fault but when you are bordering depression you just can't find the energy or motivation to do the simple things.

I often would lay in bed not wanting to get up or face going to school. Nothing horrible had happened to me but I did slip into the action of living just to breath. I was not being a true participant in the world around me.

I never sought help from a doctor, friends or family members because frankly it would have been frowned on. What did I have to complain about? Nothing. I should have been happy... ecstatic for the changes happening in my live.

I don't know what trigger the deep slumber I fell into, nor do I understand what pulled me out. In the winter of 2011 I awoke one morning and felt alive. Like I had truly be awaken. I no longer felt unaffected by people and events.

Sadly, when you do 'wake-up' you realize that your non-action or your neutral being has left you in an infant. I felt left behind. It's like when your pushed forward and lack the ability or proper foundation to learn new material or make the right choice. In my third year I was in a complete haze. I needed to refresh the things that I should have learned.

 I have always been an instant gratification person and probably will continue to be that way. School didn't provided me with the gratification I needed. There were always people who were better than me and had more connections then I did.

Try to start motivated. Be hard on yourself. Grab life by the balls and don't let go. Any failures that you experience try to pass them with grace. You will look back, standing on top of a mountain, and see the remains of the distraught person you once were.

It is easier for persons who have gotten to that level of feeling blue to let themselves slip again but strive to be better. If you need to cry... Go ahead, let it out. If you feel you suck at your job... There is always tomorrow. Or if your Accutane/Acne journey feels likes its coming to a halt remind yourself that the journey isn't over. You've just started. You might not have what you expected but your a lot further ahead for trying.

Alright people this is what my skin looks like, and just for fun I am going to overload this post with my face!









As you can tell the pigmentation has improved drastically.

 So, I guess I have a doctors appointment today... I will finally be able to show the doctor what the hell is growing on my arm. This week I had three break outs and my eye lids are looking super thin. I am not feeling down but I have lost my 'zest'. So basically, no dressing up, sweat pants all day and no kisses for my bf. What else? My temper has been off the walls. I have also been very forgetful this week.

Side note... You know how in my 'Big, Fat Greek wedding' the dad was a huge fan of Windex? At my house it's Vaseline.  I hadn't even finished showing my parents my arm when they whipped out a huge tube. Got to love parents and their funny quirks.

I will see you soon beautiful.
Keep smiling.
Or 'just keep swimming'
I love you.

6 comments:

  1. it looks muc better, hope u get it all sorted x

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  2. I'm dealing with acne too. Good luck!

    Greetings from Shirayuki's Beauty.

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    Replies
    1. Gracias! Yo no le desearía acné a nadie. Espero que encuentres algo que funcione.

      Blushing❤Appraisal

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  3. Hope accutane does the job. I suffered through 10 years of acne and still break out. Only strong medication will help. Good luck with it!

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Hey Pretty Bee! Thank you for taking the time to comment. I will try to get back to YOU ASAP! I will on occasion leave a heart () as a reply… meaning I read your comment